The contrast between my mood today and my mood yesterday is huge. I know exactly why. Yesterday the sun was shining while today’s weather has been cold, grey and wet. One of those days when even at noon it was so dark that the lights had to be on inside. It’s like all my energy drains out of me on days like this. I’ve felt tired and drained of energy all day.
What do you do on days like this? I’m probably going to light some candles and watch a comedy.
I’m really looking forward to Christmas and December. It’s my favourite holiday and I take it very seriously. The entire month of December is Christmas for me and I do all kinds of Christmas related things. My annual gift wrapping night during which I watch Christmas movies, drinks glögg and eat gingerbreads and lussekatter, is one of those things. The night during which I watch even more Christmas movies, while I dress my Christmas tree, is another one. Then there’s the Christmas shopping, going to the skyltsöndag with it’s Christmas fair, decorating my home, dressing the tree at my parents house, making Christmas candy and playing my favourite Christmas music on repeat. I can’t wait for December and the beginning of the Christmas month.
Is it just me or does time move faster the older you get? It certainly feels like it does. Ten years used to be such a long time. The time between the age of ten and twenty felt so much longer than the time between twenty and thirty. It’s like the last ten years was on fast forward, going too fast, being over too soon.
I feel this in the passing of seasons as well. Summer used to feel longer and the winter used to feel a lot longer. I’m not all that bummed out about going towards winter this year, because I know spring will be here before I know it anyway. When I was in school the year passed by so slowly. Was it because school was so boring and I was looking forward to summer so much? Compared to now when my days are the same, despite of the season. I don’t know. I just want time to move slower.
I feel my own mortality in the faster and faster passing of the time. If I get to live until I’m ninety I’ve already lived two thirds of my life. It’s mind blowing. Knowing that I only have at most two thirds left and then I’ll be dead and gone forever. And forever, that’s a very long time.
I tweeted about this a while ago but I’m going to say it here as well. In greater length.
I think we need to stop defining each other after our jobs.
“What do you work with?” is one of the first questions people ask someone they’ve just met. Like it’s a huge deal and this thing which defines who someone is. Even though most people only work because they have to and many hate their jobs. So why should they be defined by their jobs?
I don’t even have a job. Does that mean it’s impossible to define who I am? Of course not. You can define me after my interests. Things I choose to do because I want to. My interests says more about me than anything I’ve ever done career wise. What you do for a living is so unimportant. Only in this society is having a job the most important thing of all. I get that it’s important to be able to support yourself. I get that money gives freedom. I just don’t get the rest of the hype.
For example when politicians talk about unemployment they like to talk about how having a job to go to gives people a feeling of belonging and a self esteem boost. Personally I find that feeling of belonging in hanging out with people I choose to hang out with. Friends I choose to be around rather than colleagues I have to be around. Concerning the self esteem boost I don’t need a boss getting rich from the work I do to feel that I’m valuable. I’m valuable in other more important ways to the people who love me.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t want a job or that I haven’t liked the jobs or colleagues I’ve had in the past. If I do or don’t have a job just doesn’t define me. What I work with doesn’t define me. And not having a job doesn’t mean I’m useless and should feel unhappy about myself and my life.
“9 to 5, yeah, they got you where they want you
There’s a better life and you think about it, don’t you?
It’s a rich man’s game, no matter what they call it
And you spend your life putting money in his wallet
Workin’ 9 to 5, oh what a way to make a livin’
Barely gettin’ by, it’s all takin’ and no givin’
They just use you mind and they never give you credit
It’s enough to drive you crazy if you let it”
- Dolly Parton – Nine To Five
On the last day of the Halloween swap my swap partner sent me chocolate packed in a cute felt bag.
Day 6 – Chocolate in Frankenstein’s monster bag
Gift six out of seven from my Halloween swap partner.
Day 5 – Space traveller pills apothecary bottle
Gift five out of seven in the Halloween swap I’m participating in. I named this adorable paper lantern Jack. Isn’t he cute? <3
Day 5 – Paper lantern
Gift four out of seven from my Halloween swap partner on the other side of the Atlantic ocean.
Day 4 – Halloween Spider ring
Third gift from the 7 day Halloween swap I’m participating in.
Day 3 – Ice cube tray