“We must make an idol of our fear and that idol we shall call god.”

If a religious person sat down and had a long talk about life with me he/she would say that what I need in my life is god’s love. That it would heal me and fill my life with meaning and happiness. That may be true, but I don’t want to believe in god. I have this black hole of fear inside me. I fear death and the nothingness I believe follows and I fear that my life will be a waste. If I believed in god I probably wouldn’t fear death as much and I probably would feel that my life is meaningful because god has a plan for me. But I don’t want to believe in god because god is a imaginary friend. A story made up to relieve our fear of the unknown. A being created to make us feel that our existance has a meaning, a point, a reason.

I don’t think my existance has a reason. I don’t believe I have a destiny. I think our entire existence is a random coincidence.  We’re born, we live, we die. We fill our lives with whatever we want to and whatever randomly passes us by. And then we die and we’re gone. And that’s it. It’s a depressing thought but I don’t see why it shouldn’t be like that. What proof do we have of a god? A godess? A higher power? Just look at how many religions there are. Which one is the right one? Which one grant you a place in eternity? Religions are fairytales made up by scared people all over the world. Different parts of the world have different fairytales, different gods. It’s like folk lore. Stories made up to explain things we don’t understand. What’s the difference between religion and folk lore? There aren’t many people who believe in folk lore anymore but the world is packed with religious people. Because religions offer a answear to the greatest fear of mankind; death. Religions offer comforting answears to what happens to us when we die.

I understand why people turn to religion. I’m also scared of death but I’m not going to turn to fairytales to feel comfort. I’m not really a logical and down to earth person but I don’t fall for anything. Give me proof of god’s existence and I’ll believe you. Religioius people would say that you don’t need any proof, that I just have to feel it in my heart or whatever. Come again? Why on earth should I read some old book about miracles and actually accept it as the truth about life and death? Why? And why should your faith be the right one? How do you choose between all the religions out there? Of which none has any proof that anything they talk about actually is real.

I’m very scared of death. If I sit down and really think about it. How it would be to be forever gone without even the ability to think, to even know that I’m gone.  The very thougth of it terrifies me. Still I don’t turn to god because god isn’t logic. To me it’s like doing drugs because life is boring. You create an alternative world which no matter how cool it is still isn’t real. That’s god to me. We create our gods to fill those dark places of our souls and sure, our gods fill their purpose, but they’re still not real. I’m not saying I’m sure there isn’t a god. I’m just saying I don’t believe there is one. And that I don’t want to believe there is one either. I’d feel stupid kneeling down in a church praying to a character from a book written 2000 years ago. Wouldn’t you? Why don’t you?

“We must make an idol of our fear and that idol we shall call god.”

EDIT: Meet my new affiliate Katie!