My camouflage suitcase is packed and tomorrow I’m off to Stockholm. Me and two friends are visiting a third friend who used to live here in Hultsfred but nowadays reside in Stockholm.
There will be shopping so expect a extensive “look what I bought!” post when I get home. After all, I’m a small town girl going to the capital so how can there not be shopping.
I can’t believe how I used to go to Stockholm all the time when I lived in Västerås. I miss that. Now when I want something special I have to order it online.
My pretty suitcase.
I like camouflage and army jackets. Because I’m a Manic Street Preachers fan girl (they’re known for their army attire) but also because of the irony of me wearing army clothing. Seeing that I’m a pacifist and therefor obviously very anti-war. A real peace loving flower power hippie you might say. Which is also the case with Manics. Gotta love the irony of that.
This is my favourite song and have been for about ten years. The lyrics is about how horrible the world is and that if we were nothing but the things she mention (our leaders, our incomes, our denials etc) in the song we might as well kill ourselves. However she sings if we were so we’re in fact not just those things. And there you have it. My view on the world. A place full of horrible things but not if we decide to be more than those things. More than our incomes, nametags and cultures.
This isn’t a official video because this song have no real video.
Alanis Morissette – Joining You
dear dar(lin’) your mom (my friend) left a message on my machine she was frantic
saying you were talking crazy that you wanted to do away with yourself
I guess she thought i’d be a perfect resort because we’ve had
this inexplicable connection since our youth and yes they’re in shock
they are panicked you and your chronic them and their drama
you this embarrassment us in the middle of this delusion
if we were our bodies
if we were our futures
if we were our defenses i’d be joining you
if we were our culture
if we were our leaders
if we were our denials i’d be joining you
I remember vividly a day years ago we were camping you knew more than you thought you should know
you said “I don’t want ever to be brainwashed” and you were mindboggling you were intense
you were uncomfortable in your own skin you were thirsty but mostly you were beautiful
if we were our nametags
if we were our rejections
if we were our outcomes i’d be joining you
if we were our indignities
if we were our successes
if we were our emotions i’d be joining you
you and I we’re like 4 year olds we want to know why and how come about everything
we want to reveal ourselves at will and speak our minds and never talk small and be intuitive
and question mightily and find god my tortured beacon
we need to find like-minded companions
if we were their condemnations
if we were their projections
if we were our paranoias i’d be joining you
if we were our incomes
if we were our obsession
if we were our afflictions i’d be joining you
we need reflection we need a really good memory feel free to call me a little more often
This blend which I based the layout “La Vie Noir” on is my favourite out of all the blends I’ve made. I just love the feel of it. Very Film Noir and The Roaring 20s. Because of this blend La Vie Noir also is one of my favourite layouts. At least graphically. If I had made a layout based on this blend today I would have coded it differently. I still love it though and I really want to make something similar again. Similar but different, updated. More web 2.0 and less cluttered.
I know most people don’t like long blog entries but since I almost never write things this long please bear with me. And quite frankly I think that my longer blog posts about subjects I’m passionate about are more interesting than my short every day entries.
I’ve blogged about it before but I’m gonna blog about it again. Why do people think dressing alternatively is dressing like a teenager? I realize it’s more common for teenagers to dress more extravagant and that it’s a phase for many. I can’t say that that’s not the case with me because no one can be sure of how they’ll dress in twenty years. If it is a phase it’s one that’s lasted for a very long time though.
It annoys me. That people think I should “grow up” because I have a different taste than they have. Shouldn’t I as everyone else be able to wear what I like and feel comfortable in? If I dressed differently I wouldn’t be myself. Sure I don’t sport skull patterned skirts every day. It’s not odd seeing me in light blue jeans and a pink top. And when I dress more alternatively I don’t think I look that weird. I buy most of my clothes at regular shops, not in punk stores (Hello! I live in a small town!) and when I wear an all black outfit I stick out more than others wearing the same outfit because of my black hair and piercings. Much of my clothes could be worn by anyone really. It’s all in the details and how I combine things.
A while ago me and a friend looked up weird names in a online phone book. We found some really odd ones. Just look at these:
Evil Perhaps even DR. EVIL! (Austin Powers reference) Pain My name is Pain. Angelica Pain! Kill Talk about bad-ass name! Stalin Yes, there’s actually people who haven’t changed name not to be associated with evil dictatorship. Billig Means “cheap” in Swedish. Hora Means “whore” in Swedish. Imagine your last name is Billig and then you marry a guy who’s name is Hora. You’ll be Billig Hora (cheap whore)! Hat Means “hate” in Swedish. Katt Means “cat” in Swedish. Hund Means “dog” in Swedish. Anka Means “duck” in Swedish. Viking Hårdrock Some dude’s middle names were Viking Hårdrock which means Viking Hard rock. I bet it wasn’t his parents who gave him those names.
And since I still have the best taste in music ever I’ll share another song with you. Don’t feel obligated to listen to it if you don’t feel like it but if you suspect we might have the same taste (good taste, that is ) in music give it a listen.
Flesh Field – Haven
Your face is always clear.
It’s not difficult to see you.
To me you’re just a mirror,
Reflecting whom I always knew.
You’re not the only one who’s afraid of the world outside.
You’re not the only one who’s given in to fear and tried to hide.
My hands are bleeding from the digging, and the building of
New barriers and walls that keep me safe from all that I once loved.
Don’t assume I’m blind.
I know all about you.
Don’t leave me behind.
I can’t survive without you.
I hate the fact that it’s only Tuesday today since I really haven’t felt like working lately, at all. I find no joy in what I do. None whatsoever. It’s crucial that I get into college next year because I don’t want to work in a thrift store anymore. I’m meant for greater things. That sounds cliché but it have to be true because if I’m not meant for greater things than being a sales clerk I might just as well go and die. Seriously, I can’t see myself living this kind of life year after year. This job, this town, this everything. It’s all bringing me down.
Besides whining I’m not doing much. Right now I’m listening to the angriest industrial music I can find because it gives me energy and god knows I need that. The weather is so grey here. I’ve barely seen the sun in weeks and it makes me so tired. Sunshine always gives me energy and makes me want to get up and do things. A total lack of that obviously has a great effect on me. So, I listen to fast and furious (no pun intended) music. It livens up the day. Recommend me some more of that will you please. Industrial, angry, fast.
This weekend I’ve been working on a small project. Basically I was bored and felt like making another site. Not just another layout but another site. So, I decided to make a small resource site.
A while ago I removed the tutorials and graphics I’ve made since I didn’t think they fit in at Whirlwind which is a personal site. Now that stuff is back but now on a site of it’s own. Hopefully I’ll find the time to actually make something of my new little site. I really want to make some layouts for people to use. If I am to make a living out of web design some day I’ll need a portfolio.
Sometimes I need to shut the world out and be alone. I should make every Friday stay inside-shut the blinds-turn off the cell-day.
A Friday night spent at home used to be something extremely unusual. Even when I had decided to stay at home I usually ended up going out anyway. Nowadays many weekends I feel no need whatsoever to do anything or see anyone. I guess that’s good. At least for my economy.
I leave you all with the lyrics to a song I love. It pretty much describes the way I feel about my life. Because I’m just that positive.
Broder Daniel – When We Were Winning
Oh when we were seventeen
Oh life was like a film
When we were seventeen
The sky was always tangerine
We ran through streets at night
We ran through streets at night
When we were winning
Oh wild was the world
And wild we burned
We were kings of the streets
Not yet beaten by defeat
But now it’s hard to see
Through a fog of memories
But I remember
When we were winning
Now my friends are unemployed
Not needed in this world
Pushed down by this town
And always turned down
But in dreams at night
They can sometimes recall
When we were heroes
When we were winning
What have we done to our lives?
We could’ve been anything
We gave it our love for what?
This is the time
Oh it’s in the air at night
There is a wind coming in
The days dying
Oh it’s so beautiful
There’s something happening somewhere
I take the bus into town
All I see is laughing
And we are winning
Soon I grow older
But God knows
I haven’t lived yet
Before tonight’s a memory
Let’s go out
I am still young
It’s interesting how people from other countries think that the entire Sweden has the same climate. Of course that’s not odd since I sure as hell don’t know much about the climate of other countries than Sweden and our closest neighbours Norway, Finland and Denmark.
Still I can’t help but laugh when I read questions on traveling forums where people ask about dog sledding possibilities in Stockholm. We don’t get much snow here in the south and there’s certainly hard to find a dog sled in the Stockholm area. It’s the same with reindeers. There are none in the southern Sweden.
Another funny thing is how people from the southern Sweden think that the climate difference between the south and the north is way bigger than it actually is. When friends of my mother from the south where to visit us in my old home town in the north they asked about whether they needed to bring knitted sweaters and warm jackets with them. In June. The summer may be pretty short there but there is a summer! And it gets pretty hot there as well.
The climate doesn’t differ that much during the summer. It’s during the winter that the climate difference gets big. The temperature, the amount of snow, the length of the winter vary greatly depending on which part of the country you live in.
After ten years in the south the short winter, early spring and lack of snow still amazes me. In February I see signs of spring while people who grew up here think I’m crazy. But the thing is as soon as the snow is gone and the temperatures goes above 0C (32F) I think it’s spring time. Because spring in the north isn’t as much about flowers as it is about melting snow.
God I’m so happy I don’t live there anymore. Because I hate cold weather and snow and love sunshine, green forests and flowers.
Which season is your favourite?
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