I know most people don’t like long blog entries but since I almost never write things this long please bear with me. And quite frankly I think that my longer blog posts about subjects I’m passionate about are more interesting than my short every day entries.
I’ve blogged about it before but I’m gonna blog about it again. Why do people think dressing alternatively is dressing like a teenager? I realize it’s more common for teenagers to dress more extravagant and that it’s a phase for many. I can’t say that that’s not the case with me because no one can be sure of how they’ll dress in twenty years. If it is a phase it’s one that’s lasted for a very long time though. 
It annoys me. That people think I should “grow up” because I have a different taste than they have. Shouldn’t I as everyone else be able to wear what I like and feel comfortable in? If I dressed differently I wouldn’t be myself. Sure I don’t sport skull patterned skirts every day. It’s not odd seeing me in light blue jeans and a pink top. And when I dress more alternatively I don’t think I look that weird. I buy most of my clothes at regular shops, not in punk stores (Hello! I live in a small town!) and when I wear an all black outfit I stick out more than others wearing the same outfit because of my black hair and piercings. Much of my clothes could be worn by anyone really. It’s all in the details and how I combine things.
Like I’ve told you before my dad doesn’t like the way I dress. I however think he should be proud of the fact that I don’t let what others think affect me. It takes guts to stick out. Especially since I hate attention. And really, I could do so much worse things than dress a bit odd. I won’t change because my dad doesn’t approve of my style but of course it bothers me, a bit. Those times when he comments on the way I look negatively. Who wants to hear that from their father?
Something else that annoys me is the prejudices people have against everything different from the norm. How it’s assumed that goths and punks must be bad people because of the way they dress. I find that alternative people often are much nicer and more importantly have less prejudices than mainstream people. For example I’ve so far never met someone alternative who’s homophobic. If you differ from the norm of course you’re more likely to accept others who also differ from the norm. Still many people think people like my friends (and me) must be bad people. Rude, into drugs, violent.
Then there’s of course the lovely prejudice that people belonging to a “darker” subculture (goths for example) are suicidal basket cases. Just because you’re fascinated with graveyards it doesn’t mean you want to die. That’s like saying just because you’re into horror movies you want to kill people.
It’s also funny when articles are posted online about the “dangers” of different subcultures. Because oh dear god some emo chick committed suicide so obviously the music she listen to is to blame! And two goth girls killed someone and obviously music is to blame in that case as well! So what about all the people who doesn’t belong to a subculture and still kill themselves or others?
A funny fact is that a Beatles song actually inspired Charles Manson to make his followers commit multiple murders. Do people blame The Beatles for that? Of course not. That only happens when the music isn’t mainstream. Like the witch hunt of Marilyn Manson after Columbine. Which the killers didn’t even listen to by the way.
I’m not saying I don’t have prejudices as well. I have lots of them and like everyone else I’m more inclined to assume that people who reminds me of myself are smarter and more interesting than others. I’ve been proven wrong many, many times though so I always give everyone a chance. Unless they’re mean or rude that is. I think the world would be a much better place if everyone did so.
And to finish this I’ll leave you with a funny conversation from www.tjuvlyssnat.se which is a Swedish site where people post funny things they’ve overheard. I’ve translated it.
(Woman 45+ in pink dress passes by a guy 18+ wearing a Metallica t-shirt)
Woman: Fucking devil worshipper! God will send you to hell fucking satanist!
Guy (Calmly turns around): Are you a Christian?
Woman: Yes!
Guy: Then you know that god don’t judge people based on how they look and what music they listen to but on what they do and what you’re doing is a bigger sin than what I’m wearing and what I’m listening to. So it’s you that’s going to hell. Have a nice day!
Yeah, the satanist thing. I’ve been called a satanist as well. Because if you wear black you obviously must be a satanist. Which isn’t even the same thing as a devil worshipper by the way. Well I’m neither.
Anyway, I’ll stop here. Peace out.
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That is the best freakin’ quote I have ever read in my life. O_O
Well said, I agree with you! It’s annoying how people are being labeled merely because of how they dress. I used to wear lots of black and red and my classmates would always say, “whoa when did you become an emo kid?” Geez.
I’m not fond of dressing up into something just because it’s the latest trend — like in our place, skinny jeans are the so called “in” fashion so everybody’s wearing them. Eck.. Well, it’s good to know that you’re not being affected by what others would say.
The metallica guy PWND that woman, btw. Yesssss.
It’s sad that people always judge a book by its cover, regardless of how they lament it when they themselves are judged. I have been asked if I’m emo/goth countless times in my life, and while I am neither (I just happened to dye my hair black for 5 years) I don’t really see why it should matter? Some of the best people I know are left of centre and viewed as weird, at the end of the day it’s those that care about fitting in and being normal that are losing out to something fabulous.
(Hi, btw. I’m browsing blogs and found your link via someone else – I can’t remember who!)
I think it’ll never change really, sad as it is because the first thing that people look at other people, is really their appearances. And about the listening to alternative music or wearing goth clothes, well maybe it’s because based on psychology, there’s like a reason to everything, I mean think of Freud’s psychoanalytic theory, kinda crazy how he thinks people think of sex 24/7 but I’m just guessing that because people look into the usual reasons why people listen to goth music, i mean what is the message of the music? Why do they like listening to those? What the “norm” would say is, it’s because of depression, blah blah. Blame it on the media too. Media is such a big factor.
I commend you for going what you think is right! good joobb!!!
don’t judge the book by it’s cover i guess-but you know you judge it and then you know other people judge you.
it’s no way around it, and i have to say that both subcultures i’ve been apart of lolita fashion and whatever alternative, both of them contains people who want to escape reality and flee from everyday troubles- and it’s very common with psycological problems. im definetly not one of those but i’ve grown sick of how many of those people are attratcted to subcultures.
Well, you make some good points. People shouldn’t be jugded by the way they look.
However, for some people different is a scary and a unknown place. People are afraid of the unknown and so they deal with it their own way. And sometimes it’s not even personal.
I know how you feel about people judging you by the way you look. People mistake me for a guy more than once every day. I see the way they look at me, like I’m some kind of freak. The thing is, those people only look, think, and talk about you that way because it’s out of their reach. It’s a place they’re unfamiliar with and has to deal with. That doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person or judgemental. Just a human being trying to understand something that doesn’t come natrually.
I have never understood why people judge others. I don’t consider myself a saint or anything, but I try to always give people a chance before passing judgment on them. If someone I’m with makes fun of another person, I don’t join in. It’s really not that hard. My brother can be very judgmental sometimes and it drives me crazy. I love him, but I get so angry at him sometimes. I guess it’s because he was popular in high school, so it’s been ingrained in his brain or something. There must be a rule that if you’re popular, you have to judge people.
I don’t dress alternatively or anything. I don’t even know what to call how I dress because I don’t care about clothes or fashion. I just wear what’s comfortable. I do know how it feels to be made fun of, though, and I wouldn’t want to make anyone else feel that way, so I don’t do it to others. Unless they’ve been nothing but mean and rude to me.
Oh where to begin. In High School I dyed my hair a different color every month; from Ice Burg blue to Blood Red and beyond. I worked at Hot Topic. . I’d go to rock concerts, and read horror novels .My favorite movie to this day is a horror movie, and in art class in school I liked to feature blood in my work. I’m not crazy I just see things differently then other people. To me blood doesn’t only resemble death and violence, but also LIFE! Though so many people are scared, selfish, and one-sided. They don’t see my other side where I: read Shakespeare, protest for the rights of animals and people, listen to Sarah McLaughlin, love chic-flicks, and cry when other people are in pain. In fact I was discriminated against by one of my teachers in High School. My chorus teacher yelled at me in class for having Orange and Green hair, and sent me into a panic attack. I never got in trouble in school, EVER. I was quite and shy. I understand where you’re coming from. People are cruel and love stereotyping. I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t a depressed teenager with problems. Though I will say my appearance didn’t make me that way. In my opinion all the close-minded people are the ones that need to grow up.
I still love wearing black, wearing skull patterns and dying my hair colors like blue and purple (which I did recently), and because of this I bet people think I’m much younger than what I am. I don’t really care if they think that though. I would care care, however, if I started wearing clothes that I didn’t like just to look more “professional” or “look more my age”. I would feel like I was lying to myself and the world. Since when is being a grown up synonymous with losing your individuality?
I hate when people think I look weird, I am a fucking model citizen! Seriously.
Once I went to a psychologyst too (long,, boring and not interesting story) and he asked why was I dressed in all black and I said “No, I have white socks with pink flowers” (I really did) and it shut him up, seriously people are just so dumb it makes me want to beat them with a board over their head, of course I don’t do it,
When I used to dress goth, I didn’t give a shit what people thought. Because that’s what I chose, and it was awesome to me and the people I knew! Society is so judgmental it makes me sick >:(
Håller med det mesta i inlägget, bortsett från det där om att folk som inte passar in i normen skulle ha mindre fördomar. Jag tror tyvärr inte att det är så.
Normbrytande människor har vanligtvis mindre fördomar mot andra normbrytare, det köper jag. Däremot kan de ha en massa andra fördomar istället, exempelvis mot mainstreamare.
I know exactly what you mean, it is SO frustrating. I’m 7 years younger than you but I have a two month old son two, and when people see the way I dress they look at me like I’m *obviously* too immature to be a mom.. but at least I’ll be able to teach my son to be his own person!
Amen to that! It’s ridiculous really to buy into those sort of stereotypes just based on what people are wearing or what music they like to listen to…if people are going to judge one another it should be based on their behaviour and attitude towards others, not their taste in fashion or music. I think a lot of it too is that people are naturally inclined to be a little afraid of things they don’t understand, but they’re never going to understand if they can’t put aside their prejudices and get to know a person well enough to placate those fears. It’s a bit of a catch-22, isn’t it? I agree too that it takes guts (and shows strength of character) to differ from the norm, because we all know the judgmental world that’s out there – you really have to be comfortable with yourself. And that quote at the end? Brilliant!
As much as I agree with you and hate all those stupid idiots out there who stick with their poorly preconceived notions of the world instead of actually observing and thinking for themselves, this will always be the case. It’s in our nature to be judgmental, which in itself isn’t a bad thing, it’s the stupid people out there who don’t realize they are close minded that just make it embarrassing to be in the same species as them, lol. On the outside I look normal, so I don’t get any of the crap other people seem to, but I definitely don’t “fit in” either. But if fitting in means judging without thinking, I’ll pass.
But that is a rather lovely quote
ugh i spent all my teen years dealing with being called a devil worshiper for wearing black and listening to marilyn manson lol. my favourite response was from a teacher who over heard someone calling me a devil girl cause i was in black. she said to them “actually black is really flattering to her skin tone, she’s not a devil worshiper she’s a fashion worshiper” i laughed my ass off lol