Hello dear friends, strangers, stalkers and whoever else might read this!
Yes, I’ve done it again. Totally neglected my blog. I haven’t neglected the site though. The reason to my absence is that I’ve focused on getting my Ego gallery with self-portraits up and running again, which took me about two weeks. I’ve gone through thousands of photos dating back to 2001, picked out and edited more than 700 of them, then re-edited half of them because I came up with a better way to fix sharpness and finally coded more than 300 pages for the gallery. So yeah, all that took a while to do.
The gallery is set up in the same way as the old one used to be. There’s a big difference in the coding but that’s not something you’ll notice. What you’ll notice is that the photos are much bigger. The old ones were a pitiful 320×240 px while the new ones are 500×375 px. That means you can now actually see the colour of my eyes in the photos, for example. There’s still some very small photos in the gallery which I don’t have in a bigger size but I came up with a somewhat satisfying solution to that. See the first half of 2004 and you’ll see what I mean.
Anyway, if you check out the gallery please let me know if something’s not working like it should or not looking quite right. I might not look quite right in some photos but please ignore that. That’s all good. I just happen to be quite a weirdo and quite a poser at times. And by “at times” I mean whenever there’s a camera near. There’s basically two kinds of photos of me. 1. I’m doing a weird face. 2. I’m doing some pose which I at the time thought made me look cool or pretty.
Oh well, that’s it for now. Don’t expect me back on the blog scene just yet. I might be done with one gallery but there’s two more (Photo Blog + Art) to go.
Every day is a gift. I need to work on seeing it that way. Not that every day is a curse, it’s just that I take everything for granted. Don’t we all? If you knew you’d die tomorrow, wouldn’t you wish you had appreciated life more? I’m not depressed and I don’t hate my life but I’m not happy with it either and because of that I’ve always lived more in the future than the present. That if anything is taking life for granted. Walking through life set on how wonderful things will be one day, seeing the present as nothing but a road to get there. Others do the opposite. They think back on how lovely things used to be and doesn’t realize memories tend to change with time and eventually make everything that was seem better than what is. How silly, since the past is over and the future uncertain. The only thing we really have is today but that’s so easy to forget. I will try not to.
Every spring I become restless. As nature wakes up after the long sleep of winter so do I and as I’m waking up I’m filled with all this energy. Not just energy really but ideas as well. Ideas of things to do, places to see and generally just a thousand ways to change my life. I’m a hippie at heart. A real bohemian actually. And that’s the side of me that takes over every spring. All of a sudden everything I want to do and everything that feels important are these really crazy ideas of changing my life completely. Like moving to a cabin in the woods, travel Europe in a hippie van, live at a cheap apartment hotel in Paris and write a book or go to Australia to pick fruit for a year.
I suppose most people would find my dreams unrealistic but I can’t help being a dreamer. Life should be a remarkable adventure but people (including me) tend to settle for the comfortable and easy attainable lifestyle which is OK but not the life of our dreams. I mean, my life isn’t bad. Just average. I don’t like average. Lots of people say that you shouldn’t dream too big because in the end life is always average and the sooner you realize that the better. Excuse me but what the fuck? NO, it doesn’t have to be like that! My life won’t be like that. One day I will do something out of the ordinary. One day my life will be a remarkable adventure. I have to believe it can be because that’s what keeps me up when my life becomes too much of a grey routine. What would we be without our dreams and what would life be like if we gave up just because what we want isn’t easy attainable?
Getting all deep and melancholic again. It’s weird the things spring does to me. Part of me become really sad and longing for something more while another part of me is overjoyed by the simple beauty of the season. Luckily most of the time I’m overjoyed as I let the sun warm my face, stroll over meadows of spring flowers and just enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Even a day like this when the rain is pouring down I’m quite happy because during months and months of snow I’ve really missed rain.
I’ll end this post with a recent photo of myself which I really like.