I have old blogs saved here and there. Stuff from 2002-2007, in different places. I hate reading those old blogs. I’ve tried reading them a couple of times but I have to stop after one entry. You see I’m not the world’s most positive person. I don’t think I’ve ever been. Still, I’m a lot more positive now than I used to be. Or rather, I’ve learned how to focus on the positive aspects of my life and not think so much about the negative, which are still there. Hey, who’s life is without negative aspects? Nobody’s. It’s all about what we do with what we have. Anyway, I wasn’t very good at that before. So I spent a lot of time wishing my life had been different, never fully appreciating what I had. And I blogged about it. I’ve blogged so much about wishing I had done more interesting things, seen more of the world, had been given other chances and more luck. Constantly, over and over and over again I wrote about what my life was missing. And I can’t read those blogs now. They’re like a waterfall of god damn misery threatening to wash me away. I can’t be in that place again, not even in retrospect. A couple of months ago I deleted probably two years worth of blogs saved as txt files and I’m seriously considering burning blogs from 2002-2004 which I’ve printed. Of course there’s bright parts as well. They’re full of nice memories too. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go through all the negative shit in them to get to the good parts. Nowadays I keep my misery to myself. If I’m feeling down I don’t blog about it. That’s good because years from now I’ll be able to read these blog entries archived here on Whirlwind and only remember the good times. There’s been bad times as well but maybe not putting them down in writing is for the best. I’ll let my memories do what memories does. The bad memories fades with time and eventually you find yourself only remembering the good times. So I’ll let my bad memories fade and keep the good ones in writing to remember them better.