You’ve all heard it. A woman criticises another woman and other women go “she’s just jealous of you”. This bugs me a lot since it’s used as a way to brush off criticism. Because of course criticism can’t be taken seriously when it’s coming from someone who obviously is just jealous and therefore is saying those things just to be mean because she really wants to be you.

This is especially used as a backlash towards a woman who criticises another woman who is more beautiful than her. Even if the criticism has nothing whatsoever to do with her looks. If the woman being criticised is both more beautiful and more successful than the one giving the critique it even worse. It’s like women like those are untouchable.

Yes, sometimes people hide poor self esteem behind a nasty attitude to feel better about themselves. Yes, sometimes people criticise others because they are in fact jealous of them. Sometimes people can even be partly jealous of another person but still disagree with them and voice a critical opinion because of that.

Have you thought about how this is a phenomenon only used towards women? I mean, have you ever heard a man’s criticism of another man being shot down with “he’s just jealous of him”. At least I haven’t. But women are shot down like that all the time. Not just by other women because god knows there are men who are very quick to pull the “she’s just jealous of her” card.

Think about criticism of nude models for example. Haven’t we all heard men voice the opinion that women who complain about Playboy being sexist are just secretly really jealous of the playmates being so much hotter than them? Because a woman considered less attractive than those models of course can’t have an actual critical opinion about Playboy and the industry behind the objectification of women. Oh no, she’s just really bitter.

This whole phenomenon is part of the tragic stereotype that for women, looks overshadows everything else. This tragic idea that a woman foremost is her face and body. Everything else comes second. Her opinions, her moral, her entire personality.

It’s a sad, sad world we’re living in.

5 thoughts on ““She’s just jealous of you”

  1. avatarLilly

    I think that sometimes “she’s jealous” can be a way to get rid of nasty comments but it’s annoying when people are actually being serious. I sometimes think that some feminist ideas go too far; there’s the idea somewhere that all women must accept all other women but I don’t see the point in that, especially since the standard isn’t the same for men. Saying “she’s jealous” basically fits the standard that women must like all others.

    1. avataradmin Post author

      I don’t think that has anything to do with feminism though. Feminism doesn’t state that all women must like each other. I’m a feminist and I don’t. Besides, the jealousy thing, I’ve never ever seen a feminist play that card.

  2. avatarDeanna

    When someone criticizes someone else I just try to remember that they usually pick on something that they are self-conscious of on themselves. You’re more in tune to the issues that you don’t like about yourself so you pick up on those on other people too. For example, I consider myself to be harrier than the average person so when I see a girl with really hairy arms I think to myself, eww that’s gross. But then remind myself that it’s so hypocritical to think she looks bad when I feel I have the same issue.

  3. avatarVief

    I’m not sure this is only used against women – although it’s probably more commonly used against women than men, that’s for sure. I do agree we ‘project’ our own issues often, so it’s not a completely alien concept . It is however frustrating when you know that you really, really aren’t jealous at all! I think people who use the “you’re just jealous” excuse are too narrowminded.


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