Tag Archives: Fun
Ibland blir det lite fel

Denna artikel från TT har postats på DN och flertalet andra tidningar och lyder som följande:

Invandrare uppmanas att lämna blod

Bristen på ovanligt blod gör att sjukhusen måste köpa in blod från andra länder. I ett projekt försöker nu sjukvården få mer blod från personer med bakgrund i Afrika, Sydamerika – och Norrland.”

Hej, jag är invandrare. Ända från det exotiska Norrland!

———————–

TRANSLATION:

The following article was posted in several Swedish newspapers:

Immigrants are requested to donate blood

Because of lack of rare blood types hospitals have to buy blood from other countries. In a project the health care is now trying to find more blood from people with a African, South American and Norrland heritage.”

This becomes rather funny considering Norrland is part of Sweden. Norrland translates to “northern land” and is just as the name implies the northern part of Sweden. I was born and grew up there but live in the south since 1999. Does that make me an immigrant? Me and a lot of my friends from Norrland find this example of poor writing skill hilarious.

Harry Potter, bisexual vampire goth

I’m not into fan fiction so I don’t really know how a good fan fiction is written. I’ve never written one myself and I’ve only read a few in my life. After reading the fanfic My Immortal I however dare say I now know how a fan fiction should not be written.

My Immortal is loosely based on Harry Potter and has been called “the most famous, notoriously bad fan fiction ever written”. After having read twenty-two out of forty-four chapters of the story I feel a bit more stupid than I did before. I think the horrible story combined with the extremely bad spelling caused some minor brain damage. I’m not sure I’ll ever recover completely. I’ve read it and now I can’t unread it. It will forever haunt my dreams.

For those of you who don’t want to read forty-four chapters of the most god awful story the world has ever been cursed with I here present you a short description and some quotes from My Immortal.

Basically the story is about Ebony (often misspelled Enoby) Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, a gothic teenage vampire girl who attends Hogwarts. In the story we also meet the gothic bisexual boys Harry “Vampire” Potter and Draco Malfoy, the gothic vampire girl B’loody Mary Smith (Hermione) and goth boy Diabolo (Ron), among others.

Here are some gems of quotes from the story:

“I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.
“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was………….DUMBLYDORE!

We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

Den I gasped……………………Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1

I apologize for any eventual brain damage reading these quotes has caused. If you’re however into a gothic vampire version of the Harry Potter universe, or just want to rofl for an hour, here’s the link to the full story.

Personally I’m reading this story because is so bad it’s hilarious. Me, just like many others who have read it, think the fanfic is nothing but trolling but no one truly knows. Perhaps it’s the best example of a unintentionally bad fanfic and perhaps it’s a very successful troll fic

Weed and tea?

When I was in Morocco I bought a bag of their traditional mint tea plus one bag of lemon tea, which both looked suspiciously similar to more illegal kinds of dried leafs. I was a bit worried bringing it home since I was convinced the customs would think it was drugs. After all Morocco is one of the world’s biggest producers of marijuana. Of course they would realize their mistake pretty fast but I had horrible images in my head of being escorted away by the cops while everyone started and speculated about what I’ve done wrong. That never happened since they probably had dogs smell the bags. They had a dog smelling all the passengers when we exited the plane as well. Is that common or was it just because the place came from Morocco?

If we wanted to buy weed we could have done so many times. We were offered to buy drugs at least fifteen times. I found the situation rather funny. How they out in the open tried to sell us something illegal which for sure would send them to a nasty Moroccan jail had the police caught them. It was just so weird, anyone could have heard their sales pitch. Perhaps poverty drove them to it or maybe greed. All I know is it was very different from Sweden. In Sweden when you’re out shopping you’re definitely not offered to buy drugs by strangers.

tea

Real vampires

Did you know there are people who claim they are vampires? For real. Not goths who wants to look like vampires (I do) but people who actually claim they are real vampires.

Of course a “real vampire” today is not what we’ve historically associated with vampires. For example there’s apparently two kinds of “real vampires”. The one which drinks blood and the one which mentally sucks energy from people. None of the kinds were born with fangs, of course. None had any aversion to sunlight either. Well not until they came to the “realization” they were vampires. That generally happened after they read The Vampire Chronicles. Seriously, ask anyone of them if they realized they were a vampire before or after they read Anne Rice. I bet you 99 out of 100 would say after. Because who would like to be a vampire unless for the romanticism and sexiness of contemporary vampire literature and movies?

Now I of course don’t believe most of them are delusional enough as to actually believe they are vampires. Rather they claim to be to appear all dark and sexy, like a real life Lestat. Personally I find the phenomenon hilarious. If you want to ROFL google Don Henrie. He’s the most famous of all the wannabe vampires. Sad thing is he’s close to forty. One would think that telling people you’re a vampire is something even the most misunderstood teens grows out of when they reach eighteen, but apparently not.

Successfull online anti-bullying campaign

There used to be this Swedish site called emochan where people posted pictures of others (teenagers mostly) and wrote about what fugly whores they were, about how they slept around, deserved to be raped and other nasty stuff. Basically it was a site for bullying. People saw pictures and hate threads about themselves and asked the owner of the site to take them down because what was said about them wasn’t true. The owner of the site refused and bullying flourished on emochan.

Then one day in the group vardagshjältar mot nätmobbning (everyday heroes against online bullying) on Facebook, started by Swedish blogger Hanna Fridén a campaign against emochan was started. Hundreds of members of the anti-bullying Facebook group started posting on emochan. Only we didn’t bully people. We posted photos of cute animals, cupcakes and cartoon characters. We discussed peace, love, understanding and cuteness and whenever a hate thread was started we posted in it as well, only rather than commenting on what a fugly whore the person in the photo was we commented on what lovely hair she had, what a nice outfit she wore or how she generally looked like a really nice person.

After a while the love to hate thread ratio was something like twenty to one. The original posters on the site posted threads like “RIP emochan” and whined about how we ruined their site. We used up the sites bandwidth so they had to buy more and today the site can’t even be accessed. It says it has been banned. Probably because people contacted the web hotel which hosted emochan and commented on how emochan violated the web hotels own rules. Something the owner of the web hotel first basically said wasn’t his problem. But I guess the kind of negative publicity one of Sweden’s biggest bloggers and the 1000 members of her anti bullying group brought can’t be ignored.

We brought them down with love.

Mona Angelica

I took a couple of photos of myself today. I really like the light in the pictures. Even in the second photo where I have THE darkest circles under my eyes ever! I’m sorry to disappoint you though. It’s just the light playing tricks. I don’t really look that gloomy. Anyway, the colours of the photos reminds me of the Mona Lisa. When I realized that I tried to pose like Mona Lisa but I don’t think I did very well. I got the smile right though. Don’t I look enigmatic?

mona lisa
Mona Lisa

angelica
Mona Angelica

My name is Pain. Angelica Pain.

A while ago me and a friend looked up weird names in a online phone book. We found some really odd ones. Just look at these:

Evil Perhaps even DR. EVIL! (Austin Powers reference)
Pain My name is Pain. Angelica Pain!
Kill Talk about bad-ass name!
Stalin Yes, there’s actually people who haven’t changed name not to be associated with evil dictatorship.
Billig Means “cheap” in Swedish.
Hora Means “whore” in Swedish. Imagine your last name is Billig and then you marry a guy who’s name is Hora. You’ll be Billig Hora (cheap whore)!
Hat Means “hate” in Swedish.
Katt Means “cat” in Swedish.
Hund Means “dog” in Swedish.
Anka Means “duck” in Swedish.
Viking Hårdrock Some dude’s middle names were Viking Hårdrock which means Viking Hard rock. I bet it wasn’t his parents who gave him those names.

And since I still have the best taste in music ever I’ll share another song with you. Don’t feel obligated to listen to it if you don’t feel like it but if you suspect we might have the same taste (good taste, that is ) in music give it a listen.

Flesh Field – Haven

Your face is always clear.
It’s not difficult to see you.
To me you’re just a mirror,
Reflecting whom I always knew.

You’re not the only one who’s afraid of the world outside.
You’re not the only one who’s given in to fear and tried to hide.
My hands are bleeding from the digging, and the building of
New barriers and walls that keep me safe from all that I once loved.

Don’t assume I’m blind.
I know all about you.
Don’t leave me behind.
I can’t survive without you.

Technology mixups

It’s funny when you find yourself thinking about executing computer commands in real life. The other day at work I was organizing books and put a book at the wrong shelf. For a split second I thought “I’ll click “undo move” to fix this”. Like you do when you’ve moved a file to the wrong folder on the computer. Then I realized “Oh yeah, real life doesn’t work like that”.

Another funny thing happened when I was watching the TV-show Jericho. Three people were hiding in a barn while a fourth was sneaking around outside. The people inside the barn stood there quietly to avoid discovery. Then my Anti-virus program made a sound to announce that the software had been updated. I immediately thought “Oh no! I hope he didn’t hear that!”. Yes. For a split second I feared that the sound from my anti-virus program might have compromised the safety of three guys hiding inside a barn, on a TV-show I was watching on my computer. Obviously a second later I felt kinda silly for thinking that.

Have you experienced anything like this? I’m sure you have so tell me all about it! :)

Angelica: scaring off rich people since 2002

I just came to think about one of the funnier stories from my high school years.

I had this friend who had this boyfriend. My friend wanted to break up with him but first make him understand they weren’t a good couple. To scare the guy off she called in expert help. Me and two other of her more alternative friends. The five of us went to a café. Me looking like I did back then. Big black hair, wearing a plastic tiara and probably some weird clothes. My friends looked similar.

So this guy was rich, well dressed and right-wing. Me and my friends were alternative and left-wing. Of course socialism was something we discussed during the entire evening. How socialism was good and capitalism not, to be exact. I don’t remember what else we talked about but the whole point was to scare the guy off so probably something rich right-wing people aren’t interested in. After a while the guy just sat there quiet and looked more bored than I’ve ever seen anyone look.

When we went our separate ways my friend asked her boyfriend what he thought about her friends. He didn’t like us. Now that’s a shocker! She told him one of the reasons why they couldn’t be together was that she couldn’t date someone who didn’t like her friends. And so she dumped him.

I feel kinda sorry for the guy. If I had been in the same (but reversed) situation, sitting there with a bunch of right-wing people bashing my political ideas I most certainly wouldn’t be too happy with the situation. Back then I found it pretty funny though. OK, I have to admit that I still find it pretty funny. I’m a bad person.