I’ve been thinking a lot about my lack of career lately. And the fact that it would be great to work with something I actually want to work with. I like my life but career-wise, it’s truly lacking something. Pretty much everything, actually. When unhappy with something in my life I do everything in my power to change it, so that’s what I’m going to try to do now. Everything in my power.

What brought on these thoughts is my ongoing age crisis connected to the fact that I turn 30 this summer. It’s a milestone and reaching such a milestone has made me take a long hard look at my life, remembering the career dream. It’s not a new thought. Just something I’ve been pushing ahead of me, thinking “not now but later”. And now I’m turning 30 and I ask myself, when exactly is this “later”? Should I make later into now? I think I need to because I don’t think I can take another year of this.

“Just because they serve you… doesn’t mean they like you” is the tagline of movie Clerks which I’m watching right now.

Anyone’s who’s worked retail knows how true that quote is.

This is partly why I want to work as a web designer. Minimum social contact. I’d love working as a web designer and just sit in front of my computer and not have to deal too much with people. Of course I want to be the web designer of my own company since I’d prefer to live without co-workers doing things the wrong way and bosses telling me to do things in a way I don’t like. When it comes to my work (whichever work) I’m kind of a control freak. I do things my way and really hate when people mess up and change things I’ve done in a way I think is good. I was in charge of the book section at my old job and it really bothered me when co-workers messed up the system I maintained. I knew exactly where to put things and then people put things in the wrong place. It bothered me more than it should since mostly no one but me noticed these errors. Yeah, I’m a perfectionist as well and it’s really not realistic to expect people to fully grasp my way of doing things all the time.

So yeah, working alone is my thing and hopefully in the future that’s exactly what I’ll do.

I’ve been really bad at blogging lately. I just haven’t had anything to write about and instead of writing nonsense no one cares about I haven’t written anything at all.

I haven’t been up to anything lately. I just work at my new job, go home and watch TV and then sleep. My life have become even more of a routine and every day is exactly the same. Today I didn’t even know what day it was. First I thought Tuesday but that didn’t seem right so I decided that it must be Wednesday. Obviously it’s Thursday. I’m not used to this working every day thing. I haven’t had a place to go to five days a week since I was in high school and that’s quite a while ago.

I do different things at my job every day. Today I organized books in the store and then painted a glass that we’re now selling. Things are very different from my old job since I’m no longer in charge of anything. I’m not allowed to use the cash register, I’m not the one that decides prices, I don’t do any paper work and I barely put new stuff out since I’m not sure where to put it. I just do a little of this and a little of that and often work alone. I like working alone but not having any real responsibilities makes me feel less important than at my old job.

Other than working I don’t do anything. I’ve been feeling quite asocial lately and haven’t seen a friend or partied for a couple of weeks. Tomorrow is Friday and I’m not sure I want to do anything tomorrow either. Right now I’m fine spending all of my free time alone in my apartment.